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My mom, for example: she volunteers at the hospital, she tap dances in the musical at her clubhouse, she plays canasta with the girls twice a week, she does Sudoku in her garden, she’s on the party-planning committee… Men are more likely to define themselves by their careers – What do I do? Then again, many of my smart, strong, successful clients also bury themselves in their work for a decade, and emerge from their cocoon of success and travel, only to learn that they’re really, really lonely. And nowhere is that clearer than in the realm of relationships.
and while she misses a travel companion, movie companion and regular sex, life is pretty much okay as it is. I can only imagine there are millions of women who haven’t contacted me who continue to immerse themselves in that worldview that success and accomplishment matters more than love. A few thoughts off the top of my head: • Over twice as many women take anti-depressants, compared to men.
A lot of men my age seem uninterested in a committed relationship, seeming to prefer a more casual “low investment, low return” approach to relationships. As a guy who was single for 35 years, I completely agree and think that – all things remaining equal – having a good relationship is a far superior state of being than being alone.
Why aren’t they just as keen as we are to know “where things are going” early on in the relationship? I particularly love your list of what sucks about being single.
I just think there are more men than women who are okay with low-investment, low-return, that’s all. I remember reading somewhere that it was about 1 in 6 women vs. • 90% of the self-help market in bookstores is for women.
Seriously, apart from “The Game” have you ever seen a relationship book for men that’s sold in airport bookstores? Women – at least my clients – can only date .0001% of men.
Some of the things I hate about being single are (in no particular order): lack of love, affection and emotional support; not having someone to go on vacation with; not having someone to share domestic tasks with; being excluded from social gatherings because I don’t have a partner; not having someone to talk to at home on a day to day basis; having to cope with the financial burden of being single (apartment, bills etc.); not having a regular source of quality sex available.
Surely these things apply to men just as much as women?
Why don’t men hate being single as much as women do?